Excerpt 21

Harold was having trouble maintaining that image of the good father that he so wanted to be since watching his Pops do that damn thang his whole life. His Pops seemed to always be around and was a great role model as a youth counselor for what the community called “damaged goods” or “broken toys”. Even though the job consumed a lot of his time, he always had time for Harold and his younger brother Jerome. A lot of times Harold and his Pops didn’t see eye to eye but that was the normal nature of a growing boy and his father. He never said anything negative about Mom Dukes even when he possessed a good enough argument to win a capital murder case. Now Harold was trying to follow his father’s mold. It was hard being a military man who moved every three years and left Lana do play Mom and Dad for young Kevin. Harold knew that he had to be around because he did not want to mess up the string of good father images left by his father and both grandfathers. A lot of his friends did not even have a smudge of a relationship with their children because of the hatred that existed between the Mothers. “No matter how bad it gets, I have to be there.” His decision to leave the military after 14 years for his son was what a lot would call stupid but he couldn’t be away from his son for years at a time anymore. He thought about it 3 long months. The deployments didn’t bother him but he couldn’t risk being sent away to another duty station and only seeing him at secondary holidays or the summers. Neither Kevin nor Harold were phone people so that just made matters worse. The best times were when they were together. And after being gone for 4 years in the Golden State, he felt like he missed so much that he wanted to make up and be that ultimate Dad. “I need to see some of what I bring to the table in him and not just his big forehead.: Lana had done a great job but a boy needs his father. In a few years she may be married and things may change but I still have now.